I wonder if anyone else has noticed the latest fashion trend/disaster to emerge in Ireland.

It revolves around shoes this time. I first noticed a woman I know wearing the items in question on her feet. I found myself staring at them wondering what the fuck are those things. But after a couple of days I realised there was something of an epidemic beginning to emerge regarding these shoes. While shopping in Tesco yesterday I noticed at least ten woman wearing them.

So how do I describe them? Hmmm where to begin! The pairs I’ve seen people wearing are cerise pink but I know they come in blue because I’ve seen them in the local bargin shoe store. They are in the shape of an old man’s clogs and look like they’re made of foam or some dodgy plastic. They are actually very similar to sandals I’ve seen people wearing around swimming pools. There doesn’t seem to be a particular age group that is drawn to these shoes, all ages are effected equally. And from what I have seen they can be worn with any outfit at all, from tracksuits to jeans to skirts, although three quarter length trousers appears to be the most popular team mate at the minute.

If you have yet to come across this current disaster don’t worry because it’s only a matter of time. And when you do see them they’ll be impossible to miss because it is a case of you can’t see the person for the shoe.

Now, I’m not fashion conscious at all but these things should just be banned, they’re fucking awful. What scares me the most though is not the fact that someone who calls themselves a designer sat down a created them but that the Irish people are actually buying them, it’s enough to send shivers down my spine! You have been warned!

Although I’m kind of looking forward to seeing one of the pyjama wearing brigade stepping out in them because it would be disgustingly entertaining.

God, I was so sick of seeing his face every day in the media before today. So now I’m really fucked.

Throughout today RTE had his life story on loop. Every time I turned on the telly, there he was, blah, blah, blahing out of him. Is it just me or does anyone else find this whole saga truly BORING?

I am cringing at the thought of the Bertie coverage in the newspapers tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to buy a newspaper for a least a week cos all that they’ll talk about is Bertie,Bertie,Bertie.

I can see already that people will get sentimental and nostalgic about his time as Taoiseach. They will remember all the good things he did(??) and forget all the bad things. Will anyone see the bigger picture, it’s obvious to me he’s jumping from a sinking ship. When the going gets tough, the Bertie gets going!

I have just watched the RTE nine o clock news and am now convinced my wariness of their two economic reporters is definitely justified.

The uneasiness I have been experiencing in regards to these guys has been occurring for over a year now. It could also be the result of watching too much RTE news bulletins. But I have heard a few other people remark on this issue too.

Last year, before the ‘economic slowdown’ occurred, these two reporters in particular kept going on and on about how the economy was fucked. It seemed every time I sat down for my lunch one of these doom and gloom guys popped his head up just to piss me off (and put me off my sambo), they were like a tag team. I was always expecting to see something interesting on the news, maybe a segment on a war-torn country or a brutal murder, anything that was news worthy. But no, it was all about our bleak future. They predicted that soon none of us would have an arse in our trousers. A regression back to eighties was suggested,oh the era of second hand clothes and skinny kids would return to prevail once again.

After a while their passion about their predictions began to fascinate me. We all knew that the Celtic tiger was going to get tired and things would start slowing, but we didn’t harp on about it, depressing everyone for miles around. No, I figured these guys were way too fierce in their hope that we all become poor, there had to be something I was missing.

So watching the news tonight has given me the answers I never thought I’d find (at least in my over active mind).

One of the reporters was in the studio to report that scare mongering and false rumors hit the Irish financial world on Paddy’s Day. This made a certain bank lose a lot money causing their shares to fall sharply and thus allowing their shares to be bought up cheaply.

Hmmm, it has suddenly become clear to me, these two reporters been telling us all constantly over the past year that our economy was fucked. Had their relentless end-of-the-world crying really have been a cunning ploy? I had presumed that they had looked so smug lately because their predictions had finally become reality. But now it’s sooo obvious, it was all about the scare mongering! They’re both probably out there right now buying up all the cheap property and stocks they can. By this time next year they’ll be multi-millionaires!

The clever feckers!